This post is going to be a bit different from the rest. No pretty pictures, just good old fashioned words and feelings. EEEWWWWW GROSSSS.
YOU’RE GROSS! Okay do we have that out of our system? Not sure if I’m directing that question at you or myself…maybe both. But yes, feelings! Let’s get started.
Like the changing of seasons, our bodies go through seasons. Hell, we could change from one minute to the next. I am here to tell you that it is perfectly OKAY to change your mind. This has been something I’ve struggled with for a bit and I’m learning it’s okay, it’s normal, it’s accepted.
Remember that blog post I wrote about vanlife? Yeah, it wasn’t that long ago. After 9 months of living in my van I felt a bit stuck. I wanted more space. I wanted to be able to bake in my own kitchen, do yoga in my own bedroom, sleep in an actual bed and not my $60 foam I got off Amazon! Which by the way, my hip was really feeling the pain from that. I wanted a closet to fit more clothes in. I wanted a bathroom!
These feelings all hit me like a tornado after two weeks of being stationary at Mystic Hot Springs. The only space I had to myself was my van. I realized the 5 months I stayed parked on my parents property was only okay because I had my little commuter car to go anywhere I wanted, I had my own bathroom to use, and I had my own quiet space to do yoga every morning.
With all that said, I was definitely ready for a change. Some time away from the van. Part of me felt embarrassed because I was just ranting and raving about how amazing vanlife was! But, there’s no shame in going through my seasons.
A year ago I was craving freedom, travel, meeting new people, seeing new things, experiencing life, not knowing what’s next, living my dream of van living! Today I want to feel grounded and stable, secure. I don’t necessarily need to have all the answers or know what my future holds, but I want to feel like I’m taking the right steps to achieve my goals.
I’m not done with living in Charlotte. I could go back to her a month or a year from now. All I know is I am so happy and perfectly content being where I am right now! Which is at my best friends house in Harrison, Idaho, overlooking Lake Coeur d’Alene :)
Honor your feelings. Give yourself what you want. Don’t think about what others will think or say. Listen to your body. Go with your gut. Know that the changes are normal and accept them as they come, and as they pass.
Damn…I feel super wise. Thanks for reading!